I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
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