First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we made out on top of his cat.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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