Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
