I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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