Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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