do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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