I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
