Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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