i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
