My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
