first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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