that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
