I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
