There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm like, not good at living.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
