Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
