then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize