u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
