I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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