We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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