So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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