It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
