OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
