If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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