I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
