the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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