I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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