I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
