So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
