So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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