I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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