Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
