you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
third nipple confirmed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
