i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
