I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
