Me. At least after what I've been through.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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