haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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