I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
