I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
