i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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