Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
