So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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