I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
