Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
