I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
A bitchslap is in order.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
