So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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