Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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