And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
