I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
