I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
