we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
