i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
