hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
