her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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