Well apparently he's into motor boating.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
