Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Did I show you my penis last night?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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