South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
