he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize