This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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