farters have to be the big spoon...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
