he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
