Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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