Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
