Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
