Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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